It has come to the Literary Man’s attention that Bradley Cooper will play the role of Lucifer in an upcoming adaptation of John Milton’s PARADISE LOST, an epic poem, which, you know, the Literary Man has definitely read (or at least almost read, or at least purchased and very strongly considered reading).

The Fallen Dark Lord definitely wears blajorts

According to the New York Times arts beat, Mephistopheles Cooper will be working with director Alex Proyas, who has directed two or three previous films that weren’t literary enough to mention in this blog. Meanwhile, after a little investigation, the Literary Man learned a bit of biographical information about this nouveau Say-Tann. Bradley Cooper, according to, graduated with an English degree from Georgetown University in 1997. An English major. Hmmm. Sounds literary. After graduation, Lucifer Cooper moved to New York City to pursue his MFA at the New School, before achieving superstardom as the douchiest Marylander in the history of Vince Vaughn movies (no small feat, all things considered). So, dear readers, is Bradley Cooper a worthy Literary Man? English major. Check. Playing a legendary character in one of the greatest poems in the English language. Check.

Can we get our favorite Literary Lady in this movie, too?

Being seen in public with variously attractive literary ladies. Check. Check. Check. But is he too much of a bro? Consider the film “Limitless,” in which a struggling writer (sic Literary Man) discovers some kind of liquid pill that makes him do all kinds of crazy shit or something very brotastic.

Jury’s still out, but at the very least, the making of this film should give all literary men a good excuse to get out there and finish PARADISE LOST.