An Appeal for Decency: Ten Guidelines for Airlines
The most offensive part of air travel is the decay of any overall aesthetic.
Therefore, I offer the following guidelines for major (& regional) airlines
1. DRESS CODE
Similar to a country club: No sweats, cut-offs or t-shirts. Gentlemen are expected to wear a collar and sportcoat.
[Class]
2. GATE-SIDE LUGGAGE SERVICE
The carry-on system is broken. All it means is a lot of ugly bags, that are dragged through the plane and eventually gate checked. Moreover, the anxiety of overhead space leads to an uncivilized boarding process. Carry-ons should be loaded into the plane, at the gate, prior to boarding, and unloaded prior to disembarking.
[Uncivilized]
3. LOGICAL BOARDING
As a result of ending roll-aboard anarchy, boarding should be a courteous, efficient and reasonable process. Board all window seats, then all middles, then all aisles. There is no other combination that makes sense. The plane is not exactly an abstract shape.
[Simple]
4. NO MORE TRASH BAGS IN AISLES
The fact that on plane service has been reduced to carrying a overflowing trash-bag through the aisles is pathetic. Have standards.
5. WATCH DOWNTON ABBEY
Smile, make a genuine effort to help, and conclude with a thank you. This is client service. Everyone is in client service in some form or another. A rising tide raises all ships.
6. ON THE PA SYSTEM: LESS IS MORE
There are really only a few things we need to know on board: We are taking off, we are on time, and we are landing. These are brief announcements. Improvisation is a skill that few possess.
7. QUIET
Like a commuter train, the etiquette on a plane is quiet. Enforce it.
[Precedence]
8. FORBID BRINGING FOOD ON BOARD
Sitting next to someone who has brought a bag (a feed bag) of greasy food on board is appalling. Forbid it.
9. CLEAN THE SEAT POCKETS
They are revolting. In every way. They are full of actual trash. The magazines are intellectual garbage, and the emergency pamphlets are design detritus. Fix this.
10. END VIDEO CEO WARS
CEOs groveling for business on video displays prior to take off is unseemly. These executives should be running companies, not passive aggressively arguing via camera. Have some dignity.
[Have some dignity]
If any airline were to accept these ten guidelines. I would gladly pay an extra $10 on average, per flight, for a more pleasing aesthetic experience. I imagine others would too. If charging for a blanket helps your bottom line. Why not charge for decency?
Yours,
~EP
I could not agree more. I would extend most of these recommendations to nearly every aspect of human interaction. Have some dignity, show a little class. Please.
Wise words, Margaret!
Excellent! When I was a kid, flying was very expensive and so, very rare. And, when you flew, you were likely visiting someone special that you hadn’t seen in a long time. So, my mother (a Southern Belle) always dressed well and insisted we did, too. I miss that.
Just a couple comments, and no, I don’t work for any airline! I love Alaska Air’s service to the smaller airports for a few reasons – they offer concierge carry-on checking. Your carry-on is handed off to a baggage handler as you walk to the plane, it’s stowed in the luggage compartment, and returned to you within 3-4 minutes of disembarking. Also Alaska/Horizon serves free IPAs and wine on these flights. A big plus!
I’m also quite fond of SWA – like their boarding policy and the comic relief many attendants provide. SWA even gave me a big voucher when I called to discuss, not complain, but discuss a situation that involved being squashed against the bulkhead for the duration of a 5 hour flight by a very large gentleman.
However, my parents have had some nightmarish travel experiences recently with another airline. Won’t mention any names. And yes, dirty planes to boot.
I am always astounded at the size of carry-on bags some travelers attempt to stuff in the overhead bins.
If only.
Reblogged this on AirportsMadeSimple.
yes, Yes, YES!
I agree with these guidelines and could add a few more of my own regarding children. Flying used to be more civilized.
How this posting can be on the same blog as the posting extolling the wonder and greatness of Waffle House is beyond me!
Throw out the the first one…. class is a matter of taste, and I happen to believe the fool in the suit and tie looks ridiculous, as does anyone who submits to fashion decrees; my idea of class is NOT how they dress at a country club…. And, no way in hell you’re getting me to put on a tie, anyway…..Prohibit overweight folks from showing skin, or young girls from dressing like prostitutes (or old women wearing cheerleader clothes….), then I’d consider a dress code….
So, quiet, eh? So, you will keep all toddlers and babies off planes…. this could be encouraged, but never enforced…
Logical boarding is a pipe dream…. it could only work with sheep, and assigned seating… now, if we could somehow keep folks with “stupid” genes out of the cockpit, we’d be set….
The rest of your suggestions make pretty good sense, especially the one on baggage…. Of course, if you will ban all food that isn’t good off planes, you’d have to include the food they tend to serve, and prohibit ALL food….
The rest are pretty good, and serve to prove that everyone has different priorities….
You missed out the most basic decency – give us seats with enough width and legroom for a normal human body. At the moment they’re designed for anorexic midgets.
agree agree agree
As a frequent traveler I could not agree more with every single item explained — especially the one of people bring on carry-on bags that are obviously too big and too heavy to place overhead. It NEVER looks graceful to haul that carry-on into those bins.
Yes on the PA announcements. No on the jacket and tie – don’t own any ties. If the airline will charge for carryon, they can charge for overweight people. And while I am busy being a fascist, there is plenty of unused space on the wings for children.