Begin Portrait of Madness: on February 25th, THE LITERARY MAN turned one. We, the faithful writers, couldn’t be more proud of how far we’ve come (some of those early posts were really embarassing, er, not that there aren’t a few clunkers every now and then), and we’re extremely thankful to each of you for your comments, ideas, and loyal reading. From our many posts about the lovely Dolly Parton, to the countless Iconic Literary Men and Women we’ve profiled, to the epic poet’s cryptic stanzas, each visit to the site has brought literary randomness and adventure to you, our beloved readers. So now, an annual report detailing random fun facts about February 25th, and some fun facts about ourselves, of course…

Name: THE LITERARY MAN

Date of Birth: February 25, 2011

Total Hits: 34, 793

Chinese Zodiac Sign: FERRET

Astrological Sign: PISCES

What does it mean for The Literary Man to be a PISCES? According to Astrology Online, we demonstrate traits such as being imaginative, sensitive, and intuitive, as well as darker traits including being secretive (well we can’t let you know our true identities yet, can we?), and weak-willed (maybe that explains why we’ve ended up waking up on the Atlantic City boardwalk with empty pockets, mortally hungover, with cigarette burns on our shirtsleeves more times than we care to remember).

Atlantic City Boardwalk: not a recommended sleeping place

Most Popular Post: Top Ten Scariest Books of All Time by the one and only Esme Delacroix. It’s amazing how many people google “scariest books,” “scriest books,” or “scrrriest books” and somehow found this list. Way to go, Esme D!

Our Personal Favorite: this one has to be the Do You Need To Send a Dead Rat To Your Enemy story, faithfully submitted to the New Yorker, swiftly rejected, and, after a little correspondence with the author, prominently featured in the header of this blog (anonymously, for now).

Weirdest Thing Ever Googled That Led to Literary Man: “gorilla sex poetry.” Yeah. Seriously. What’s most disturbing is that someone out there is Googling this every week. We’ve probably gotten twenty or thirty hits, total, from these gorilla sex poets, whoever they might be. (Come to think of it: GORILLA SEX POETRY would be kind of an amazing band name. Might have to do a separate (lengthy) post about that.)

Official Charity of The Literary Man: If you think writing’s hard, take a look at the picture below, taken by the Literary Lady / Verbal Vixen on her philanthropic trip to Peru two summers ago. We posted this pic with the title “Support This Writer” and you can do exactly that at the charity established for Victor and the other kids who live at the children’s hospital in the Lima suburbs: www.crowdrise.com/helpthemhope

Victor at El Hogar de San Francisco de Assis in Chaclacayo, Peru

Most Googled Writer Who Brings People To The Literary Man: No surprise on this one. It’s Ernest Hemingway, owner of one of the best literary beards of all time.

Most Gratuitously Featured Hollywood Starlet: May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor, literarians, cause we’re less than a month away from the opening of THE HUNGER GAMES. This means, of course, that we’ll have to include another picture of Katniss (aka Jennifer Lawrence).

Notable Shared Birthdays: Sally Jesse Raphael, Tea Leoni, Rashida Jones, Chelsea Handler, and our personal favorite, Julio Iglesias. Why Julio? We love the heartfelt ballad, “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before” in which he duets with one of our favorite Texans, Willie Nelson.

Famous Shared Birthdays with Other Literarians: After an extensive search, we can only find two authors with whom The Literary Man shares a birthday:

Anthony Burgess, b. 1917
Cynthia Voigt, b. 1942
Weirdest, Most Random Post of the Year:
Embroidered Dolly Parton! We love you, Dolly!
Busiest Day of the Year: On January 11, 2012, we had our busiest day yet, nearly reaching one thousand new visitors in a matter of hours when the Kenyon Review linked to our HIPSTER-LITERARY-BRO CONTINUUM (and wisely observed that we had spelled Ginsberg wrong. 1,000 visitors might seem insignificant to some monster blog like Huff Post, but for us it was kind of exciting.)
Best Places to Drink in NYC: last but not least, let’s include a picture of our favorite place to get kicked off the karaoke stage in New York City. Winnies! We love you Winnie, even if you do NOT allow profanity on the microphone.
So thanks for reading, dear literarians. If you’d like to see more of anything in particular in the new year, or would like to recommend an author / artist you think we should profile, please let us know. And don’t forget to visit us here. Huzzah!