[Note: today’s post barely has anything to do with literature]

Hoverboard: the word immediately conjures thoughts of unlimited excitement! A board that hovers. It doesn’t fly, no, not exactly, nor does it have wheels or any operational attachment to the ground. Somehow, it knows how fast you need to go, too, say, if you were holding on to the back of a truck, or trying to escape from a manaiacal 1950s meathead trying to run you over, and you just had to get to Delorean in time to escape.

In which we analyze a picture of a hoverboard:

Haven't we waited long enough?

Okay, so there appears to be two circular magnet-like objects beneath the hoverboard. What does this mean? Are these discs knowledgeable enough to propel the board just so above the ground? How do they know? What sort of plasma-based, seismic-defying technology is capable of this gravity-defiance? Short of calling it magic, there must be some explanation. Thus, we turn to Wikipedia to seek truth about the Ways of the Weightless Board:

Hoverboard (or hover board) is a fictional hovering board used for personal transportation in the films Back to the Future Part II and Back to the Future Part III. Hoverboards resemble a skateboard without wheels. Through special effects the filmmakers depicted the boards hovering above the ground. During the 1990s there were rumors, fueled by director Robert Zemeckis, that hoverboards were in fact real, but not marketed because they were deemed too dangerous by parents’ groups. These rumors have been conclusively debunked.[1] Some companies hoping to leverage the commercial success of the movies have marketed hovercraft vehicles as hoverboards, but these products have not been shown to replicate the experience depicted in the movies.

And then there’s a cryptic web site that sells T-shirts about hoverboards, proclaiming their inability to withstand the surface of water:

We have said it before, and we will say it again: “I may become a one-issue voter if that issue is whether or not I will get a #Hoverboard during your presidency.”